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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,702

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Going viral on Facebook:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Trending via Messenger:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Trending via Threads:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Trending via Facebook:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Going viral on WeChat:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Just shared via Facebook:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Spotted on WeChat:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Going viral on Instagram:

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

Funny targeted quotes

New funny targeted quotes 👇

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

0

2 months ago

ads, body, body image, chin, chin fat, fat, getting, humor, image, offended, relevance, targeted, targeted ads

Someone from 🇶🇦 has recently shared this quote.

79 shares on Messenger this month.
Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

0

6 months ago

bullshit, confusion, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, idea, joke, just, muscle, muscles, targeted, training, workout

Someone from 🇻🇪 has recently copied this quote.

120 shares on Threads this month.

All funny targeted quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wish I had a friend like me.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

I told ChatGPT about us.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

64 shares on Messenger this month:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Shared recently on YouTube:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Seen just now on X:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Going viral on Instagram:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Trending via Slack:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny targeted quotes

New funny targeted quotes 👇

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

All funny targeted quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨