Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,350

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Live now on YouTube:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Broadcasted on Discord:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Spotted on Reddit:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

Breaking via Telegram:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

Spotted on Twitch:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Spotted on Instagram:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Going viral on Messenger:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Funny targeted quotes

New funny targeted quotes 👇

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

0

2 months ago

ads, body, body image, chin, chin fat, fat, getting, humor, image, offended, relevance, targeted, targeted ads

Someone from 🇦🇺 has recently copied this quote.

29 shares on Messenger this month.
Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

0

6 months ago

bullshit, confusion, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, idea, joke, just, muscle, muscles, targeted, training, workout

Someone from 🇧🇯 has recently copied this quote.

83 shares on YouTube this month.

All funny targeted quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

22 shares on Slack this month:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Just shared via X:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Just shared via Facebook:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Making waves on Telegram:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Spotted on Messenger:

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny targeted quotes

New funny targeted quotes 👇

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

All funny targeted quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨