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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Family guy is so insane, because why were people dating that dog?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Just shared via Telegram:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Making waves on Twitch:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Reported on Messenger:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Live now on Pinterest:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Trending via X:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

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Funny The Love Boat quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Making waves on Discord:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

Breaking via Snapchat:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Spotted on WeChat:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Reported on X:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Just shared via Slack:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Broadcasted on X:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

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