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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

The homie who’s ultimately just a pawn in your grand scheme.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

The world started without permission again.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,381

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Seen just now on Threads:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Spotted on Slack:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Going viral on Slack:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Going viral on Telegram:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Trending via X:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Seen just now on X:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Breaking via X:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Spotted on Telegram:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Breaking via Slack:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Funny threaten quotes

Funny threaten quotes bring a hilarious twist to the art of warning someone with a wink 😜⚡ Whether you want to lighten the mood or deliver a cheeky message, these playful lines are perfect for surprising friends and sparking laughter 😂🔥 Get ready to mix a little mischief with your humor and turn threats into pure comedy gold! 🎭💥

New funny threaten quotes 👇

All funny threaten quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on X this month:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

11 shares on Slack this month:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

14 shares on YouTube this month:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

72 shares on Discord this month:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

23 shares on X this month:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,530

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Time needs a speed limit.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Sometimes you have to sit back and imagine what life could be if it wasn’t a horrifying nightmare.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Spotted on Threads:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Trending via Pinterest:

Have to wear real clothes on Monday. Pray for me.

Just shared via Reddit:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Going viral on YouTube:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Just landed via Threads:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Breaking via Discord:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

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