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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Reported on X:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Spotted on YouTube:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Spotted on Telegram:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Just landed via Instagram:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Freshly posted on Slack:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Seen just now on Messenger:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

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Funny threaten quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Just landed via Slack:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Broadcasted on Discord:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Shared recently on WeChat:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Going viral on Instagram:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Reported on YouTube:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

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