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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Going viral on Messenger:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Just landed via YouTube:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Just landed via Telegram:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Just landed via Threads:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Just landed via Discord:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Seen just now on Slack:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Shared recently on Threads:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Live now on Discord:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Spotted on Facebook:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

Going viral on Discord:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Just shared via Messenger:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

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