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Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,751

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Live now on Telegram:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Just landed via Reddit:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Just shared via Twitch:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Broadcasted on Threads:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Home » Funny Toss Quotes

Funny toss quotes

New funny toss quotes 👇

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, bed, chicken, humor, i, night, rotisserie, sleep, toss, turn

All funny toss quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on X this month:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

You are the Monday of my life.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

52 shares on X this month:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

85 shares on Discord this month:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Trending via Telegram:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Trending via Facebook:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Live now on Telegram:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Seen just now on WeChat:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Just shared via X:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Making waves on Twitch:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

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Funny toss quotes

New funny toss quotes 👇

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

All funny toss quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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