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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,320

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Going viral on Messenger:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Just shared via WeChat:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Spotted on TikTok:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Trending via Facebook:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Trending via WeChat:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

38 Funny ugly quotes

More funny ugly quotes 👇

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

3 weeks ago

acceptance, confidence, humor, i, insult, know, me, self-awareness, ugly
Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

3 weeks ago

care, comfort, home, humor, i, relaxation, self-acceptance, ugly
I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

3 weeks ago

appearance, confidence, growth, humor, i, personal, personal growth, self-deprecation, ugly, used
I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

3 weeks ago

appearance, casual, confidence, day, humor, impressed, just, public, self-image, ugly
Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

3 weeks ago

comfort, enjoy, home, humor, relaxation, self-acceptance, ugly
I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

3 weeks ago

humor, i, insecurity, man, me, relationship, self-esteem, shy, stare, ugly
Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

3 weeks ago

chance, dating, fairness, give, humor, i, irony, man, me, men, ugly, ugly man, ugly woman, unfortunately, woman
Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

3 weeks ago

confidence, crazy, humor, i, knowing, never, night, self-acceptance, sleep, ugly

For even more funny ugly quotes, hit next 👇

All funny ugly quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on YouTube this month:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

70 shares on Facebook this month:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

43 shares on Discord this month:

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

38 shares on X this month:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Going viral on Reddit:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Going bananas on X:

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

Trending via Messenger:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Breaking via Twitch:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Just shared via WeChat:

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

Making waves on Reddit:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Activity Log ✨

38 Funny ugly quotes

More funny ugly quotes 👇

All funny ugly quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨