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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,395

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Going bananas on WeChat:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Just shared via TikTok:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Just landed via TikTok:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Shared recently on Facebook:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Just shared via Instagram:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Just landed via Facebook:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Spotted on Instagram:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Funny unskippable quotes

Funny unskippable quotes are those hilarious gems that grab your attention and refuse to let go 😂🙌 Perfect for brightening your day or sparking a laugh during a scroll, these witty lines hit just the right spot every time! Whether you’re procrastinating or just need a quick mood boost, get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even snort a little 🤪📲 Let the fun begin!

New funny unskippable quotes 👇

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

4 weeks ago

15-second, ad, culture, fire, game, humor, i, internet, internet culture, legends, raid, Raid Shadow Legends, shadow, unskippable, video, video game, war, watch, weapon, WW3
People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

4 weeks ago

activity, ad, awkwardness, birthday, celebration, feels, fun, fun activity, happy, humor, people, singing, unskippable

All funny unskippable quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on TikTok this month:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

37 shares on X this month:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

53 shares on Discord this month:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,475

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Trending via Facebook:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Trending via WhatsApp:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Making waves on Slack:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Spotted on X:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

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