Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,471

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Breaking via Messenger:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Spotted on WeChat:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Spreading quickly via X:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Seen just now on YouTube:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Funny unskippable quotes

Funny unskippable quotes are those hilarious gems that grab your attention and refuse to let go 😂🙌 Perfect for brightening your day or sparking a laugh during a scroll, these witty lines hit just the right spot every time! Whether you’re procrastinating or just need a quick mood boost, get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even snort a little 🤪📲 Let the fun begin!

New funny unskippable quotes 👇

All funny unskippable quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Facebook this month:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

34 shares on Discord this month:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

66 shares on Discord this month:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,639

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Spotted on Facebook:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Trending via Slack:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Shared recently on WeChat:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Making waves on Threads:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Breaking via X:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Trending via Instagram:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Seen just now on X:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴