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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Not my room, not my elephant.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,295

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

Seen just now on Reddit:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Making waves on Messenger:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Just landed via Twitch:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Just landed via WeChat:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

Shared recently on Threads:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Spreading quickly via X:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Funny Weeknd quotes

Funny Weeknd quotes bring a whole new vibe to your day, blending wit and charm with a splash of celebrity flair 🎤😂 Whether you’re a die-hard fan or just love a good laugh, these gems will have you smiling and maybe even singing along 🎶😎 Get ready to brighten your feed with some hilarious and relatable moments from the star himself! ✨🔥

New funny Weeknd quotes 👇

All funny Weeknd quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

59 shares on X this month:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,726

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Just landed via Facebook:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Spotted on Instagram:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Making waves on Threads:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Spotted on Pinterest:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Making waves on Facebook:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

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