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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,653

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Spotted on WeChat:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Shared recently on Reddit:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Spotted on Facebook:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Just landed via Facebook:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Spotted on Threads:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Shared recently on Slack:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Shared recently on Slack:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Seen just now on X:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Home » Funny Weeknight Quotes

Funny weeknight quotes

New funny weeknight quotes 👇

All funny weeknight quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,637

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Just landed via TikTok:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Trending via YouTube:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Going viral on X:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Seen just now on Threads:

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

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