Commentary:
"Please hesitate to get in touch with me. My procrastination game is strong 💁♂️⏳ Who knows when I'll eventually reply? It's a surprise for both of us! 🤣📱 #DelayTactics #MasterOfProcrastination"
230 Funny wit quotes
Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.
Commentary:
"Life motto: Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm! 😂🔧 Who needs fancy tools when you have the power of makeshift fixes and witty comebacks? 💪😜 Keep calm and meme on, folks! 🤣 #LifeHacks #SarcasticSolutions"
If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.
Commentary:
"Mastering the art of being bugged by nonsense like a true connoisseur 🙄🤦♂️ Who knew annoyance could be a skill worth boasting about?"
The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.
Commentary:
Oh, the struggle of being surrounded by common sense-challenged individuals 🤦♂️🤦♀️ It's like trying to explain colors to someone who sees only in black and white! Embrace the chaos with a smile and a splash of sarcasm 😜 #CommonSenseStruggles
I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.
Commentary:
"Well, there goes my faith in your ability to comprehend sarcasm 🤨. Maybe next time I should include a 'sarcasm for dummies' guide along with my comments 📚😂."
A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”
Commentary:
"Who needs a DeLorean when you can just quantum leap into a new body, right? 🚗🕰️ Tripping over your own feet: the ultimate transportation method! 😂 #QuantumLeapGoals"
If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.
Commentary:
Oh, so you're saying if I can't make fun of myself, you'll step in and do it for me? How thoughtful! 🤣👏 Nothing like a good self-deprecating laugh to keep us humble and entertained! #SelfRoastGoals
I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.
Commentary:
"Who knew excelling at faults could be a special skill? 🌟😂 Keep shining bright in all your imperfect glory! 💪🌟 #FlawlesslyFlawed"
The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.
Commentary:
"Ah, the delicate dance of feigning innocence while secretly holding all the answers 🤫💁♀️ It's the ultimate power move of pretending to be clueless when you're actually the mastermind behind the scenes! Who said women can't multitask? 😉"
He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.
Commentary:
"Ah, the subtle nuances of wrestling stage names 🤔 I mean, who needs to be so extra when you're already a Giant, right?! 😂🤼♂️ #ObviousObservations"