Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Spotted on Instagram:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Just shared via Discord:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Trending via Slack:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Going viral on Messenger:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

My brain has too many tabs open.

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Always knew I was a 'pretty' big deal! 😎✨ #PositivityChampion"

annoying, compliment, focus, full, got, humor, i, irony, joke, only, positive, positivity, pretty, sarcasm, self-deprecating, sentence, things, today, well, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Trending via YouTube:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Making waves on Messenger:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Going viral on TikTok:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Trending via WeChat:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏