Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,556

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Spotted on Slack:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Making waves on Facebook:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Going viral on Messenger:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Making waves on Pinterest:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

6 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about parents' scare tactics leading to no grandkids, humorous and playful vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like their plan worked a little too well! 😅🙈🎉

bad, family, fear, feel, getting, grandkid, grandkids, hope, humor, i, me, never, parent, parenting, parents, pregnancy, pregnant, proud, scare, scare tactic, scared, tactic, teenager

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

98 shares on YouTube this month:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

34 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

Trending via TikTok:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Seen just now on WeChat:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Trending via Discord:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Just landed via TikTok:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Going viral on Instagram:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨