Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,756

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Just landed via WeChat:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Just landed via YouTube:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Breaking via Twitch:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Trending via TikTok:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to escape the internet like 🏃‍♂️💨 but it’s all 'Wait, are you sure you want to dump me?' 😂✌️"

arrow, back, before, choice, decision, experience, hit, humor, i, internet, just, leave, me, navigation, page, said, technology, user, user experience, website

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, adulting, bed, changes, different, excited, excitement, getting, humor, level, life, life changes, responsibility, sleep
Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

0

2 months ago

exhaustion, humor, i, longing, miss, relationship, rest, sleep, time
In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

0

2 months ago

humor, irony, management, procrastination, productive, productivity, terms, time, time management, today, wasting, wasting time
I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

0

2 months ago

animal, blub, brain, emotion, feeling, feelings, heart, humor, i, jellyfish, just, pain, simplicity, wish
People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

0

4 months ago

accusation, accuse, arrogance, delusion, enough, grandeur, humor, me, people, sarcasm, self-confidence, worship
Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

0

2 months ago

ball, ball park, before, context, estimate, give, humor, invention, much, park, pretty, rough, someone, sports

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They’re making me do work at work.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

96 shares on X this month:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

65 shares on X this month:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Spotted on YouTube:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Going viral on Reddit:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Trending via Reddit:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Seen just now on Twitch:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨