Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,228

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Spotted on Telegram:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Live now on Snapchat:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Going bananas on Telegram:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
It’s like a TED Talk, but with more awkward medical details! 🤦‍♂️🎤💊

birth, date, date of birth, exactly, health, hear, humor, i, information, just, lack, line, love, me, name, personal, personal information, pharmacy, pharmacy line, privacy, public, shouting, standing, world, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

0

5 months ago

age, aging, blurry, encounter, everything, eyesight, hearing, humor, loud, middle, middle age, too, welcome
I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

0

2 months ago

aging, confidence, gray, gray hair, hair, highlight, humor, wisdom
I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, am, annoyance, bite, delicious, hate, humor, i, insect, know, mosquito
I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

0

2 months ago

film, humor, i, joke, memory, photographic, photographic memory, run, wit
When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

1

2 months ago

ask, call, funny situation, humor, man, parents, pen, pressure, real, relatable, relatable humor, situation
Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

0

3 months ago

career, celebrity, criticism, entertainment, humor, life, maybe, music, music career, nothing, problem, say, showgirl, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on X this month:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

89 shares on Slack this month:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Spotted on Reddit:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Going bananas on Telegram:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Just landed via WeChat:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Just landed via Messenger:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Seen just now on Messenger:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Going viral on Discord:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Trending via Messenger:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨