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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from has copied:

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

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I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Someone from has downloaded:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Someone from has copied:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Someone from has shared:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Someone from has downloaded:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Someone from has downloaded:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Someone from has copied:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Someone from has copied:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Someone from has bookmarked:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2315 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,477

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,477

35 minutes ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Trending via Discord:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Seen just now on Slack:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Seen just now on Threads:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Making waves on Messenger:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Spotted on Facebook:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Breaking via Messenger:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Freshly posted on Discord:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

6 months ago

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I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

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Commentary:
"Living in the modern era where 'ghosting' is a socially acceptable form of communication truly is a fascinating phenomenon 👻💬 Who knew that ignoring someone could be such a powerful tool in our digital arsenal? 😂 #ConversationsVanishIntoThinAir"

back, boundary, communication, conversation, end, enjoy, enjoyment, i, interaction, kind, life, living, modern, modern life, silence, simply, social, social interaction, texting, where, world

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That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.
No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.
Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

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Share → : Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.
Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.
Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.
Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Is Mercury in reggaeton?
God: “You’re all really bad at this.”
If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.
For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.
Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2315 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,477

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,477

35 minutes ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.
Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?
Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.
Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.
“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.
Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.
If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.
I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.
When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from has downloaded:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Someone from has viewed:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Someone from has copied:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Someone from has viewed:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from has viewed:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Someone from has copied:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Someone from has viewed:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Someone from has bookmarked:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Someone from has copied:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Someone from has shared:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Trending via YouTube:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Seen just now on X:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Just landed via TikTok:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Making waves on Twitch:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

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