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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

My fridge turns into a food retirement home, as soon as I buy groceries.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,049

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Freshly posted on X:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Making waves on X:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Live now on TikTok:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Making waves on Facebook:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Breaking via Slack:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Going viral on Slack:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Shared recently on Slack:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Inflatable faces: the latest trend in 3D selfies! 🎈😆📸

aging, appearance, big, cosmetic, directions, face, filler, getting, humor, i, joke, just, looking, love, okay, people, start, younger

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

0

2 months ago

boredom, class, excuse, feel, humor, nodding, pretending, sad, sorry, student, teacher
I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

0

2 months ago

expression, humor, humor expression, humor quote, i, just, laziness, relaxation, sarcasm, sit, walk
Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

0

2 months ago

economics, going, good, good thing, humor, inflation, joke, means, money, thing, viral
Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

0

2 months ago

exclusivity, friends, friendship, heart, humor, hurt, hurts, me, monogamous, relationship, talk
How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

0

3 months ago

am, anxiety, distraction, humor, i, procrastination, relax, stress, things
Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

0

4 months ago

apocalypse, Facebook, four, horseman, horsemen, humor, Instagram, joke, maybe, media, social, social media, TikTok, Twitter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Reddit this month:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

94 shares on Slack this month:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

82 shares on X this month:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Trending via Telegram:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Just shared via Facebook:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Freshly posted on X:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Just shared via TikTok:

May the algorithms be with you.

Making waves on Slack:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Making waves on Twitch:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Breaking via Facebook:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨