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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,637

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

Spotted on Instagram:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Trending via Slack:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Spotted on YouTube:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Inflatable faces: the latest trend in 3D selfies! 🎈😆📸

aging, appearance, big, cosmetic, directions, face, filler, getting, humor, i, joke, just, looking, love, okay, people, start, younger

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

0

2 months ago

ask, before, breakfast, celebration, day, family, fun, humor, joke, letting, little, longer, morning, mother’s, Mother’s Day, sleep, wake, wife
I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

0

2 months ago

dark, dark magic, fantasy, fun, fun quote, hesitate, humor, i, joking, magic, playful, playful threat, supernatural, threat
I only accept apologies in cash.

0

2 months ago

apology, cash, humor, i, payment, sarcasm, worth
Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

0

2 months ago

bet, beverage, capri, Capri Sun, fruit, fruit juice, humor, juice, scientist, scientists, sun, taste
Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

0

2 months ago

afraid, dark, fear, humor, insomniac, night, pitch, problems, sleep
Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

0

2 months ago

bear, dating, honeypot, humor, metaphor, pants, playful, pooh, Pooh Bear, reply, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on X this month:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

88 shares on Slack this month:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

37 shares on Slack this month:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

79 shares on Discord this month:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Just landed via Twitch:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Breaking via Slack:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Trending via Telegram:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Going bananas on Threads:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

I only accept apologies in cash.

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨