Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,300

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Making waves on Reddit:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Live now on Telegram:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Just shared via Twitch:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Trending via Discord:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why can't dinner just cook itself while we binge-watch our decision-making skills fly out the window? 🍕🤔🍿

again, cooking, daily, daily routine, decision, decision making, dinner, family, family life, figure, food, humor, i, inform, life, making, meal, meal planning, once, planning, regret, routine, tonight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

0

2 months ago

cleanliness, family, house, humor, i, kicking, kids, parenting, spotless, struggle, want, wrong
There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

0

2 months ago

accidental, accidentally, humor, important, important person, irony, job, nothing, person, responsibility, workplace, worse
What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

0

2 months ago

date, decay, existentialism, humor, irony, kiss, observation, relationship, romance, society, watching
Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

0

2 months ago

communication, dating, friendship, humor, i, life, lot, media, message, people, relationship, social, social life, social media, stopped, texting, while
You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, big, big time, communication, know, mess, mess up, printer, relationship, situation, someone, technology, time
What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, humor, intimacy, kill, life, relationships, resilience, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

26 shares on X this month:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

13 shares on X this month:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

21 shares on Discord this month:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

77 shares on X this month:

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Making waves on YouTube:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Just shared via Threads:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Shared recently on Threads:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Just shared via Telegram:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨