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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ͺ has copied:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has shared:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has copied:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has downloaded:

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡· has copied:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has copied:

Flex on your kids by asking β€œare we there yet?” before they do.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,603

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on Twitch:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Making waves on Reddit:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Breaking via Slack:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

Live now on Facebook:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Just shared via Threads:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Just shared via TikTok:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Just landed via Twitch:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Freshly posted on Discord:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

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I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.
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Commentary:
Heat me up and let's hope I don't explode like last time! πŸ”₯πŸ˜…πŸ½οΈ

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

58 shares on Discord this month:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

78 shares on Slack this month:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

33 shares on Slack this month:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You can add β€œcha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,825

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has viewed:

The older I get, no.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has bookmarked:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has shared:

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has copied:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡― has downloaded:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has copied:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Breaking via Pinterest:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Going viral on Reddit:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Trending via TikTok:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Just landed via Discord:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Spotted on Discord:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event β€œDropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Going viral on Instagram:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

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