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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Showing my barber a picture of a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,370

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Going viral on Facebook:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Feeling generous until they actually reach out for the 27th time! 😂✉️🙈

anything, communication, else, email, emails, end, feel, free, humor, i, need, please, politeness, reach, sarcasm, stopped, writing

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37 shares on WeChat this month:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

48 shares on Discord this month:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

23 shares on WeChat this month:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Shared recently on Slack:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Live now on Messenger:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Just shared via X:

The best addition to any essay is, of course, a condescending tone.

Spotted on Messenger:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Going viral on WeChat:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

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Activity Log ✨

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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