Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Took a break from Twitter for my mental health, so I’d figure I’d come back to ruin it again.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

Making waves on Twitch:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Spotted on Snapchat:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Just landed via YouTube:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like the only thing more difficult than a Rubik's Cube solved by a squirrel! 🐿️🗑️

annoyance, deal, dealing, dealing with people, everything, Facebook, Facebook Marketplace, frustration, humor, i, ID, marketplace, media, online, online marketplace, own, people, selling, selling online, social, social media, throw, trash, try

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

0

2 months ago

activity, awkward, awkward moments, date, exactly, first date, fun, fun activity, humor, icebreaker, idea, minutes, moments, person, phones, relationship, surprise, switch
If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

0

2 months ago

activity, bump, clumsiness, definitely, friendship, humor, i, just, know, line, straight, straight line, together, walk, walking
Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

0

2 months ago

effort, give, humor, i, love, men, minimalism, opportunity, relationship, sarcasm
I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

0

2 months ago

buy, cooking, cookware, handles, hot, hotter, humor, i, irony, kitchen, kitchen humor, pot
In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

0

2 months ago

challenge, comedy, deadline, event, events, funny situation, humor, i, karate, learn, learning, morning, need, situation, tomorrow, turn, unexpected, unexpected event, urgent
Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

0

2 months ago

apology, awkwardness, distraction, eye, flirting, humor, i, joke, misunderstanding, playful, something, sorry, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

65 shares on Threads this month:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

94 shares on X this month:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Just landed via Threads:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Spotted on Facebook:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

Trending via Reddit:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Trending via YouTube:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Just landed via Twitch:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨