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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,947

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

Spotted on Twitch:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Spotted on WeChat:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Spotted on Snapchat:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Going viral on Twitch:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Surviving November: the only extreme sport where my coach is my coffee mug! ☕️😂

called, challenge, daily, daily goal, day, doing, every, goal, humor, i, just, month, motivation, November, perseverance, procrastination, through, try, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

0

2 months ago

actually, confusion, humor, i, irony, it is what it is, knowing, perspective, say, self-awareness, uncertainty
We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

0

2 months ago

appearance, feeling, humor, learn, learning, looks, need, podcaster, reaction, surprise, weird, weird feeling, word
It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

0

2 months ago

entertainment, humor, music, observation, people, seats, songs, Usher, weird
Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

0

2 months ago

beloved, beloved life, death, emotional, emotional humor, harm, humor, irony, life, life struggle, me, pain, struggle
Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

0

2 months ago

cold, cold day, comfort, comfort food, cozy, day, days, embrace, even, food, food love, found, hot, humor, love, peace, pizza, warm, warm embrace
I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

0

2 months ago

comfort, comfort food, food, gratitude, happiness, humor, i, live, pizza, planet, thankful

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Threads this month:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

11 shares on Slack this month:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

56 shares on Slack this month:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

Just landed via Instagram:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Shared recently on Slack:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Just shared via TikTok:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Freshly posted on Slack:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨