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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Being alive and sentient has been the worst thing to have ever happened to me.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,622

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Trending via Pinterest:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Just shared via Twitch:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Going viral on X:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Trending via Twitch:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Going viral on Instagram:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Seen just now on X:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Making waves on Messenger:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Playful quote about surviving November with humor and daily perseverance.
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Commentary:
Surviving November: the only extreme sport where my coach is my coffee mug! ☕️😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on X this month:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

89 shares on Discord this month:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

33 shares on Threads this month:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,717

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

Trending via Threads:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

Just shared via Discord:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Going viral on WeChat:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Going viral on Twitch:

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Going viral on X:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Freshly posted on X:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

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