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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,498

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Spotted on Messenger:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Making waves on Facebook:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Making waves on YouTube:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Spotted on Messenger:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Spotted on Telegram:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Going viral on Threads:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Just landed via X:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote comparing two song titles from humorous perspectives.

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Commentary:
"It's all a matter of whether you packed a raincoat or a helmet! 🌧️😅🏋️‍♂️"

comedy, comparison, culture, different, floor, funny comparison, hit, humor, humorous, humorous quote, joke, let, men, music, music joke, parody, pop, pop culture, same, song, song parody, view

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Asking the cashier how I’m doing today.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

45 shares on Threads this month:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Going viral on Discord:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Just shared via YouTube:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Just landed via Facebook:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Shared recently on X:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Making waves on Messenger:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Spotted on Twitch:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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