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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,862

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Trending via Telegram:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Just shared via Facebook:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Breaking via YouTube:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Shared recently on Reddit:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

2 months ago

0

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the tragic saga of the cape-clad, wet-haired warrior! A tale of misaligned parts and salon woes unfold beneath the harsh fluorescent lights. The struggle is real, my friends. May your hair find its way and your cape flutter in triumph! 💇‍♀️✨ #HairitageChronicles"

anything, bad, bad hair day, black, black cape, cape, day, hair, humor, incorrect, incorrect part, incorrectly, lights, me, never, parted, sadness, salon, seen, self-deprecation, under, wet, wet hair

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

0

5 months ago

chin, chin hair, hair, hate, here, humor, imagine, just, me, over, plucking, sarcasm, self-care
I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

0

2 months ago

am, bedroom, cave, days, exhaustion, half, hours, humor, i, introvert, need, personality, recovery, social, time
Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

0

2 months ago

behavior, hoop, hula, hula hoop, humor, invisible, joke, people, playful, prank, reaction, silly, using, weird, weird behavior
I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

0

4 weeks ago

adulting, bills, business, date, due, due date, i, just, know, minding, next, payment, procrastination, responsibility, surprise, thing
Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

0

2 weeks ago

anxiety, drink, glass, humor, ice-cold, pouring, stress
I have the bruises of a much more active person.

0

2 months ago

active, bruises, fitness, humor, i, irony, much, person

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Discord this month:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

23 folks are currently checking 👀

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I have to stand in the shower about this.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,635

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Going bananas on TikTok:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Just shared via Slack:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Seen just now on YouTube:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Just shared via WeChat:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Freshly posted on X:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

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