Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”
  • Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!
  • Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.
  • Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.
  • I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.
  • I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.