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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,610

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Live now on Facebook:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Broadcasted on Discord:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Trending via YouTube:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Trending via Facebook:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Seen just now on Discord:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Spotted on Slack:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Trending via Pinterest:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

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Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Burp therapy: the only weight loss plan I can stick to! 😅🤷‍♂️🎈

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Messenger this month:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

24 shares on Slack this month:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

34 shares on Slack this month:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

44 shares on X this month:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

82 shares on WeChat this month:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Spotted on WeChat:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Trending via X:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Trending via WeChat:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Broadcasted on X:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Just landed via Threads:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Making waves on Telegram:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

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