Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.