Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,651

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Live now on WhatsApp:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Spotted on X:

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Going viral on Pinterest:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Broadcasted on X:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Spreading quickly via X:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Spotted on Threads:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Live now on Facebook:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

4 weeks ago

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Commentary:
Selective hearing level: expert 🦸‍♂️👂🎯

communication, dead, distraction, face, hear, humor, i, listening, said, sarcasm, stare, superpower, talking, while, word

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

0

2 months ago

break, break up, breaking, comparison, divorce, easier, hair, hair stylist, humor, process, relationship, stylist
It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

0

2 months ago

every, humor, minutes, Monday, procrastination, routine, stress, time, week, work
I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

0

2 months ago

call, comfy, dress, fashion, floral, flortato, humor, i, me, nelly, Nelly Flortato, potato, self-deprecation, today
Having a job ruined my life.

0

2 months ago

career, frustration, having, humor, job, life, ruined, sarcasm, work
The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

0

2 months ago

advice, challenge, experience, family, fun, humor, kids, parenting, shop, shopping
Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

0

5 months ago

homebody, maximizing, maximizing value, Olympic, Olympic sport, rent, sport, turning, value

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

56 shares on Threads this month:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

32 shares on Discord this month:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Going viral on TikTok:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Making waves on Pinterest:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Going viral on WeChat:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Making waves on Threads:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Having a job ruined my life.

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨