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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,525

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Going viral on Telegram:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Making waves on Threads:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Trending via TikTok:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Spotted on X:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Live now on YouTube:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Spotted on Reddit:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Just landed via Instagram:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Achievement unlocked: Internet peacekeeper! 🕊️💻😂

argument, brag, communication, conflict, fight, humor, i, internet, media, online, people, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, everything, hate, humor, normal, older, perspective, realization, realize, Smurf
Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

0

1 month ago

forget, humor, motivation, optional, orgasm, partner, personal, personal well-being, pleasure, self-care, sexuality, today, well-being
For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

0

2 months ago

birthday, delete, everyone, expired, head, humor, i, joke, me, old, old version, self-deprecating, self-improvement, version, want, whatever
Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

0

2 months ago

exist, hotter, humor, jealousy, me, ok, people, pretty, rude, self-deprecation, younger
A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

0

2 months ago

afraid, digital, digital relationship, etiquette, happening, hate, humor, internet, internet humor, knowing, life, media, moment, online, online life, pressure, privacy, relationship, silence, social, social media, social media etiquette, social pressure, unfriend, unfriending, us
I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

0

2 months ago

competition, creativity, diss, diss track, expression, going, hate, humor, i, love, much, music, personalization, poetry, rivalry, take, track, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on TikTok this month:

I have a very active anti-social life.

12 shares on X this month:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Shared recently on X:

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

Just shared via YouTube:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

Trending via Snapchat:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Making waves on Twitch:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Making waves on Instagram:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Broadcasted on Discord:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Trending via Pinterest:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨