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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,555

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Trending via Pinterest:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Seen just now on Messenger:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Making waves on X:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Just shared via Discord:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Going bananas on Telegram:

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

Seen just now on Telegram:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Making waves on Telegram:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

2 weeks ago

Witty text about letting AI handle dating, humorously expressing modern relationship woes.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs love when you have artificial intelligence to swipe right for you? 🤖💔 Let the robots deal with our messy dating lives while we sit back and enjoy the show from a safe distance. It's a match made in tech heaven! 😂🤖 #RobotLove"

AI, app, dating, experience, humor, i, let, machines, me, modern, modern experience, place, relationship, robot, suffer, suffering, technology, Tinder, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Discord this month:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

85 shares on X this month:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

99 shares on Slack this month:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

31 shares on X this month:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My greatest flaw is that I will try any specialty lemonade. 90% of them are nearly undrinkable, but I persevere.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,338

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Live now on Snapchat:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Just landed via X:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Spotted on Threads:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Making waves on Telegram:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

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