Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,669

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Trending via TikTok:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Trending via Threads:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Making waves on Telegram:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Seen just now on Twitch:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

Going bananas on Facebook:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Live now on Snapchat:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"😂 Just realized my calling might be therapist avoidance instead! 🏃‍♂️💨 #EmotionalEscapeArtist"

comedy, frustration, guys, health, humor, i, media, mental, mental health, mess, nothing, posts, problems, psychology, read, social, social media, therapist, want, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

0

2 months ago

breakfast, cheesecake, choice, eat, even, food, freedom, humor, indulgence, police, stop, want
My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

0

4 months ago

boss, doing, dude, home, humor, just, office, people, pretending, remote, remote work, think, work, work from home, working, workplace, workplace humor
The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

0

2 months ago

dad, game, humor, invention, language, losing, Scrabble, welsh, Welsh language
I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

0

2 months ago

airplane, aviation, bird, cooler, flight, flying, humor, i, think, whimsical, wings
Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

0

2 months ago

app, communication, humor, message, technology, text, text message, voice, voice message
Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, anticipation, emotion, ever, frustration, humor, know, pre-annoyed, sarcasm, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on TikTok this month:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

37 shares on Threads this month:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Trending via TikTok:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Breaking via Telegram:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Shared recently on Slack:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Just shared via TikTok:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Going viral on Instagram:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨