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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

We are the last generation of programmers who know the deadly feeling of seeing the exact problem in our code, on Stack Overflow, with 0 answers.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,700

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Shared recently on Discord:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Trending via Facebook:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Spotted on Snapchat:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Breaking via Snapchat:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

2 months ago

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"That's one way to keep those hands busy! 😂🥪✋👋"

adult, comedy, double, double entendre, entendre, good, hand, humor, innuendo, joke, left, making, masturbation, playful, right, sandwich, sex

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21 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

30 shares on Threads this month:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

16 shares on Threads this month:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

91 shares on X this month:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

If I were a mouse and I lived in Moscow, I would think, haha, I live in Mousecow!

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Making waves on TikTok:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Going viral on Telegram:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Going bananas on Instagram:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

Spotted on Messenger:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

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Activity Log ✨

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨