Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,502

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Making waves on Twitch:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Going viral on Facebook:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Just landed via Snapchat:

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

Just shared via Twitch:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Trending via Discord:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Patiently perfecting the art of slow exits since… now. 🚗⏳👻

both, dead, driving, faster, frustration, here, honk, humor, i, impatience, just, me, parking, parking spot, rage, road, road rage, sit, someone, spot, stubbornness, traffic, us, waiting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

0

2 months ago

alien, among, funny observation, humor, i, interaction, live, living, living among, me, observation, people, social, social interaction, undetected
Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

0

2 months ago

after, again, back, break, breakup, dating, dying, ending, except, game, health, humor, less, long-term, long-term relationship, partner, relationship, relationship struggle, restart, start, struggle, video, video game
You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

0

1 month ago

age, aging, attitude, being, called, care, cool, cooler, geezer, humor, less, only, paradox, self-acceptance, true
I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

0

5 months ago

big, big hair, car, cars, declaration, feeling, feelings, gesture, hair, i, louder, love, men, miss, nostalgia, over, romantic, romantic gesture
At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

0

3 weeks ago

day, end, humor, identity, independence, just, me, reflection, self, solitude
Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

0

2 months ago

able, animal, animal behavior, behavior, being, chill, everyone, humor, parrot, talk, talking, whole, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on YouTube this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

73 shares on Reddit this month:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

66 shares on Discord this month:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

28 shares on Discord this month:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Just shared via Instagram:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Breaking via YouTube:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Overthinkaholic!

Freshly posted on WeChat:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨