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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,716

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Just landed via Threads:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Seen just now on Threads:

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

Trending via TikTok:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Shared recently on Twitch:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

Shared recently on Slack:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When social batteries run low, I just set them to airplane mode! ✈️🔋🙅‍♂️

anxiety, apology, back, communication, humor, i, interaction, introvert, people, social, social anxiety, social interaction, sorry, talking, text, texting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

0

2 months ago

chores, doing, humor, laundry, me, nobody, relatable, sad
I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

0

2 months ago

boss, employee, found, Funny, gone, hr, humor, i, joke, joke gone wrong, management, office, tell, told, workplace, workplace humor, wrong
Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

0

2 months ago

awkward, communication, humor, interaction, joke, misunderstanding, nothing, offline, offline people, online, online joke, people, social, social interaction, tell, trying
Being a little freak is my love language.

0

5 months ago

being, freak, humor, language, little, love, love language, personality, quirky
Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

0

4 months ago

again, alone, awkward, awkward moment, bowling, funny situation, humor, imagine, moment, self entertainment, sit, situation, turn, yourself
According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

0

2 months ago

bacon, cooking, food, humor, i, just, meal, people, portion

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

25 shares on Slack this month:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

48 shares on Slack this month:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

54 shares on Slack this month:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Going viral on Instagram:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Just landed via Facebook:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Just shared via Snapchat:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Just shared via Threads:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Live now on Facebook:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Live now on LinkedIn:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Live now on Messenger:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Being a little freak is my love language.

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨