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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

He took my last fry, your honor.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,025

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Spotted on Twitch:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Breaking via X:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Just landed via Messenger:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like their alarm is just doing cardio while they stay in hibernation mode 😴⏰🏃‍♂️

2, alarm, annoyance, apart, morning, none, person, room, roommate, share, sleep, someone, wake, wake up, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

1 month ago
alcohol, combo, contact, dating, deadly, deadly combo, eye, eye contact, humor, interaction, social, social interaction
Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

1 month ago
authenticity, bring, felony, fulfillment, happiness, humor, identity, never, pretend, pretense, someone, true
Life begins when you can afford it.

1 month ago
adulting, afford, beginning, humor, life, money, perspective
I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

1 month ago
fall, history, humor, i, irony, question, reflection, Rome, stupid, wonder
What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

1 month ago
budget, debt, finance, financial, financial struggle, frustration, humor, i, money, personal, personal finance, self-control, shopping, spend, spending, struggle, understand, want
I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

5 months ago
humor, i, inappropriate, inappropriate touch, sun, sunburn, today, touch

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Seen just now on TikTok:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Making waves on Discord:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Trending via Reddit:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Life begins when you can afford it.

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

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The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Life begins when you can afford it.

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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