They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.