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Commentary:
"Sending out some self-love vibes to my extra weight! 💌 Maybe if I show it some love, it'll decide to leave me for someone else. 🏃‍♂️💨 #weightlossgoals #selfloveproblems"

body, body image, extra, extra weight, humor, i, image, leave, love, me, motivation, relationship, self-deprecation, telling, thinking, too, weight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

1 month ago
big, big house, chance, country, dog, house, humor, i, only, rescue
Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

1 month ago
baked, baked goods, browny, court, courtroom, dessert, everyone, funny statement, goods, honor, humor, i, judge, legal, statement, trial
I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

1 month ago
ancestry, bad, current, enough, family, fascination, humor, i, knowing, never, understand, understanding
Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

1 month ago
age, am, annoying, getting, humor, i, just, observation, old, people, sarcasm
Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

1 month ago
absurdity, chaos, dinosaurs, else, everything, exaggeration, humor, imagination, imagine, stress, too, top, worry
I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

3 months ago
bank, humor, i, irony, joke, money, pen, pens, single, string, strings, tie, trust, us, why

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

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I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

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Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

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When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

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Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

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Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

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Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

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Spotted on Threads:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Trending via Pinterest:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Breaking via WeChat:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Trending via Messenger:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

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Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

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Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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