Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sending out some self-love vibes to my extra weight! 💌 Maybe if I show it some love, it'll decide to leave me for someone else. 🏃‍♂️💨 #weightlossgoals #selfloveproblems"

body, body image, extra, extra weight, humor, i, image, leave, love, me, motivation, relationship, self-deprecation, telling, thinking, too, weight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

0

2 months ago

adult, age, humor, irony, maturity, me, mistake, people, self-perception
As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

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2 weeks ago

cheating, childhood, Christmas, claus, family, humor, i, kid, kissing, misunderstanding, mommy, Santa, Santa Claus, saw, song, thought, understand
As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

0

2 months ago

before, change, changing, humor, i, irony, password, people, politics, president, same, security
We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

0

2 months ago

commentary, eating, got, humor, metaphor, overripe, rich, social, social commentary, talking
I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

0

2 months ago

around, character, comedy, Halloween, humor, i, me, need, personality, quirky, round, strange, strange character, year, year round
Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

0

2 months ago

afternoon, belief, believe, choice, choose, humor, irony, nap, naps, relaxation, sleep, us

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Threads this month:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

44 shares on X this month:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

13 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Breaking via Reddit:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Spreading quickly via X:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Going viral on Reddit:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Trending via Pinterest:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

Shared recently on X:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Going viral on Reddit:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨