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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,676

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Making waves on Telegram:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Breaking via Discord:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Spotted on X:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Trending via YouTube:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Going viral on X:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Trying to explain to my boss why I need a break to strategize my snack heists, but they’re just not nibbling… 🥨🥷⌛

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

1 month ago

bath, bath water, funny situation, humor, oh, person, reaction, situation, throw, throw out, uh, uh oh, unexpected, water
It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

1 month ago

fast, fear, humor, machine, scary, spin, washing, washing machine
Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

1 month ago

apps, choice, convicted, convicted felon, dating, dating life, felon, guy, having, humor, life, old, old guy, perfect, relationships
Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

1 month ago

advice, cheese, food, Germany, humor, käse, people, pun, sausage, scenario, stock, wurst, Wurst Käse
Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

1 month ago

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I have a very particular set of useless skills.

1 month ago

humor, i, particular, set, skills, talent, uniqueness, useless

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Shared recently on Slack:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Making waves on Telegram:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Just shared via Twitch:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

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Activity Log ✨

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

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Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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