Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,580

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Going bananas on Telegram:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Spotted on Slack:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Making waves on Threads:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Going viral on Facebook:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Trending via Twitch:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

3 weeks ago

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Commentary:
When you know your step count is already too low, so you turn shopping into a full cardio session 😅🛒👟

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

56 shares on Slack this month:

Life is way too short to pretend you’re not into some freaky stuff.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Half princess, half menace.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Seen just now on Instagram:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

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Activity Log ✨

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Keep the laugh going 😂

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.