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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,723

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Just shared via Twitch:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Spotted on Threads:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wardrobe full of "goal outfits" ready to debut in 2040! 😅👗👖 #OptimisticFashionista

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

1 month ago
arguing, conflict, dead, dead relative, family, fun, humor, i, keep, psychic, relationship, relative
Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

1 month ago
chores, doing, family, frustration, housework, humor, mad, mother, parenting, tired, unnecessary
Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

4 months ago
city, damage, humor, infrastructure, infrastructure damage, movie, movie night, night, stress, superhero, superhero movie, trying, watch, watching, watching movie
One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

1 month ago
aging, better, car, eyesight, fun, humor, minute, next, stereo, turning, young, youth
I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

1 month ago
clever, day, dog, exercise, fitness, humor, joke, mile, people, pet, tell, walk
Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

4 months ago
beat, erection, fight, humor, joke, morning

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Making waves on Discord:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Spotted on X:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

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Activity Log ✨

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

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By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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