Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,542

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Just shared via Twitch:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Breaking via Threads:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Just shared via Telegram:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Just landed via Telegram:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Live now on Threads:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Just shared via X:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wardrobe full of "goal outfits" ready to debut in 2040! 😅👗👖 #OptimisticFashionista

40, again, age, age 40, body, body image, clothes, day, eternal, fashion, fit, humor, image, keep, optimism, should, size, size too small, small, too, wardrobe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

0

2 months ago

day, fake, humble, just, millionaires, parents, say, still, teach, waiting
So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

0

2 months ago

air, care, ceiling, ceiling fan, fan, hands, hazard, humor, irony, just, song, songs, tell, throw
Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

0

3 weeks ago

addicted, addiction, day, eating, food, food habit, habit, humor, meal, reptile
Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

0

4 months ago

excuse, humor, machine, procrastination, raging, resistance
My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

0

2 months ago

banter, confusion, girlfriend, humor, just, me, misunderstanding, playful, playful banter, relationship, whatever
I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

0

2 months ago

card, comparison, credit, credit card, denied, financial, humor, joke, used, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

88 shares on X this month:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

27 shares on X this month:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

90 shares on X this month:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

Spotted on Reddit:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Spotted on Discord:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Just landed via Slack:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Going bananas on WeChat:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨