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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

355 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,624

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,624

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,706

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Spotted on Telegram:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Broadcasted on Discord:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Trending via Messenger:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Making waves on Instagram:

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Just shared via Instagram:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When dinosaurs RSVP "absolutely not" to coverage! 🦖📞🤢

adjuster, call, comedy, dinosaur, disaster, end, every, getting, humor, insurance, insurance adjuster, jurassic, Jurassic Park, movie, park, phone, phone call, reaction, should, throwing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

2 months ago

boss, humor, i, me, person, productivity, self, should, transformation, work, working, workplace
Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

3 months ago

art, humor, laziness, procrastination, relaxation, rest, tired
My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

2 months ago

animals, cat, cats, food, humor, knowledge, lasagna, pizza, turtle, turtles
A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

3 months ago

app, apps, comparison, digital, digital struggle, frustration, funny comparison, got, haunted, haunted house, house, just, log, log out, memory, password, remember, struggle, technology, website, websites, where
Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

2 months ago

actually, behavior, communication, doing, just, men, most, motivation, stereotype, talk, things, want
Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

2 months ago

age, explode, humor, loud, men, sneeze, sound

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

81 shares on Slack this month:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

95 shares on Slack this month:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

65 shares on Discord this month:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

93 shares on Discord this month:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

91 shares on Telegram this month:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Just landed via Discord:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Seen just now on Slack:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Just landed via Slack:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨