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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,598

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Spotted on X:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Just shared via Snapchat:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Going viral on X:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Spotted on Twitch:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Live now on Threads:

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

Just landed via Facebook:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Just shared via Threads:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Making waves on Telegram:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Funny aggressive quotes

Funny aggressive quotes bring the perfect blend of sass 😎 and humor 😂 to brighten your day with a cheeky punch! Whether you’re feeling feisty or just want to spice up your captions 🔥, these witty lines pack attitude with a smile 😜. Get ready to laugh, snort, and maybe even throw shade — all in good fun! 💥✨

New funny aggressive quotes 👇

All funny aggressive quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

21 shares on Discord this month:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

58 shares on X this month:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Scrolling to your birth year is a humiliation ritual.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

42 shares on X this month:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,669

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Live now on Instagram:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

How is it still this week?

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Going viral on Discord:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Seen just now on Instagram:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Breaking via Discord:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

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