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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has viewed:

Lois Lane said, β€œClark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¨ has bookmarked:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has bookmarked:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Someone from πŸ‡ΌπŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Someone from πŸ‡΄πŸ‡² has copied:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡» has viewed:

β€œI’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has copied:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,549

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Breaking via Threads:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Making waves on Telegram:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Just landed via Instagram:

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

Making waves on TikTok:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Going viral on Reddit:

Next time someone says β€œI’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say β€œI’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Seen just now on Discord:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Going viral on YouTube:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Funny aging process quotes

Funny aging process quotes bring a lighthearted twist to growing older πŸŽ‰βœ¨ Embracing wrinkles, gray hairs, and all the quirky changes with a smile πŸ˜„πŸŽˆ These witty sayings remind us that aging isn’t just about getting olderβ€”it’s about getting better, wiser, and way more entertaining! πŸŽ‚πŸŽ‰ Ready to laugh through the years? Let’s celebrate the journey with humor and joy! πŸ˜‚πŸ•Ί

New funny aging process quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny aging process quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Slack this month:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

13 shares on Threads this month:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

75 shares on Discord this month:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

35 shares on X this month:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

69 shares on Discord this month:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

98 shares on Messenger this month:

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

12 shares on Discord this month:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,431

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has copied:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has copied:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has copied:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has copied:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has copied:

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

I am thick and tired.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on Threads:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Trending via Facebook:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Just shared via Instagram:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Just shared via Telegram:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Shared recently on Threads:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

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