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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,662

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Going bananas on YouTube:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Just shared via WeChat:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

31 Funny avoid quotes

More funny avoid quotes 👇

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

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5 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on YouTube this month:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

73 shares on Threads this month:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Shared recently on Slack:

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

Spotted on X:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Broadcasted on Slack:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Breaking via Facebook:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Broadcasted on X:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Trending via Discord:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

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Activity Log ✨

31 Funny avoid quotes

More funny avoid quotes 👇

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

All funny avoid quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨