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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Do you think Yoda says “7-6” instead?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,353

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Spotted on Snapchat:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Spotted on X:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Just shared via Telegram:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Going viral on X:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Making waves on Facebook:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Funny better person quotes

Funny better person quotes are the perfect way to laugh while leveling up your life! 😂💪 They remind us that personal growth doesn’t have to be serious all the time—sometimes a little humor is the best motivation. Whether you’re aiming to be kinder, wiser, or just less awkward, these witty nuggets will keep you smiling on your self-improvement journey. Ready to glow up with a grin? Let’s dive in! ✨😄

New funny better person quotes 👇

All funny better person quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on X this month:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

93 shares on X this month:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

34 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,412

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Is there a job where I can lay on the floor and listen to music?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Trending via X:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Shared recently on Facebook:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Trending via YouTube:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Shared recently on Discord:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

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