Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,600

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Breaking via Telegram:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Shared recently on Discord:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Breaking via YouTube:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Just shared via Facebook:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Going bananas on WeChat:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Funny breed quotes

Funny breed quotes bring pawsome laughter and tail-wagging joy to pet lovers everywhere 🐾😂 Whether you’re obsessed with goofy golden retrievers or sassy Siamese cats, these witty sayings capture the quirks that make each breed totally unique 🐕🐈 Get ready to smile, chuckle, and share the love for your furry friends with some seriously fun vibes! 🎉🐶🐱

New funny breed quotes 👇

All funny breed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Twitch this month:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

82 shares on Slack this month:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,280

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Over Christmas, some bastard has snuck into my house, gone into my wardrobe, stolen my work trousers, and replaced them with a smaller pair.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Live now on Slack:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Going viral on Instagram:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Going bananas on Facebook:

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

Just landed via WeChat:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Going bananas on Discord:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Going viral on Instagram:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Just landed via X:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Making waves on Messenger:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

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