Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,263

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Just shared via Discord:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Going viral on Telegram:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Live now on LinkedIn:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Spotted on Facebook:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Funny Canada quotes

Funny Canada quotes bring the Great White North’s quirky charm to life 🍁😂 From polite apologies to maple syrup madness, these witty lines capture all the hilarious 🇨🇦 moments that make Canada uniquely lovable. Whether you’re a true Canuck or just maple-curious, get ready to chuckle and celebrate the humor that’s as cool as the Canadian winters ❄️🍁!

New funny Canada quotes 👇

All funny Canada quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on WeChat this month:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,492

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Going viral on Reddit:

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Going viral on Messenger:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Just took off my daytime sweatpants and put on my nighttime sweatpants.

Shared recently on Slack:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Just landed via TikTok:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Live now on Messenger:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

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