Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,466

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Going viral on Reddit:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Spotted on Snapchat:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Trending via Facebook:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Breaking via Telegram:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Just shared via TikTok:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Trending via Threads:

Some people still fail to understand that the boot still has no problem crushing you, even if you lick it clean.

Just shared via YouTube:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Funny choke quotes

Funny choke quotes are the perfect way to laugh off those awkward moments when things just don’t go as planned 😅🎯 Whether you bombed a big presentation or flubbed an important game-winning shot, these witty lines turn cringe into comedy 😂🔥 Get ready to embrace the slip-ups with humor and share a smile with anyone who’s ever “choked” under pressure! 😜🙌

New funny choke quotes 👇

All funny choke quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Slack this month:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

30 shares on Slack this month:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

35 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

70 shares on Slack this month:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,515

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Just landed via Slack:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

Spotted on Discord:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Just landed via Slack:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Going viral on Snapchat:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Spotted on Threads:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

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