Funny christ quotes

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That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

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I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

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No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

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Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

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I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

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The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

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The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

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Never miss a good chance to shut up.

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Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

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When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.