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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Trending via Twitch:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Just shared via Instagram:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Seen just now on Slack:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Just shared via Discord:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Reported on Telegram:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Breaking via Threads:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Going viral on Threads:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Making waves on Discord:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Making waves on Twitch:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Going viral on Telegram:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Just landed via Telegram:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Just shared via Facebook:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Reported on Twitch:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

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