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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Santa went woke and gave me a small solar panel instead of coal.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Trending via Facebook:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

Just landed via Twitch:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Breaking via Pinterest:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Shared recently on Discord:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Just shared via Reddit:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Funny cooling quotes

Funny cooling quotes ❄️😄 are the perfect way to beat the heat with a smile! Whether you’re melting in the sun or just craving some chill vibes, these witty lines will keep you laughing and cool at the same time. Ready to turn down the temperature and turn up the fun? Let’s dive into some cool humor that’s ice cold and hot on laughs! 🌬️😂🔥

New funny cooling quotes 👇

All funny cooling quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Discord this month:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

WW3 is either gonna happen so fast you sleep through it, or it’s gonna last for the rest of your life.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Cancel culture has been canceled.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,774

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Spotted on Messenger:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Going viral on Snapchat:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Shared recently on Discord:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

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