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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Jan 7, 2026

3,311

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Going bananas on Twitch:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Just landed via Telegram:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Trending via Snapchat:

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Seen just now on Slack:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Funny crows quotes

Funny crows quotes🦅😂 bring a cheeky twist to these clever black birds! Known for their mischief and smarts, crows inspire laughs and unexpected wit. Whether you’re a bird lover or just here for the giggles, these quotes will have you cawing with joy! Get ready to see crows in a whole new, hilarious light 🌟🐦✨

New funny crows quotes 👇

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

0

2 months ago

crow, crows, friend, friends, frustration, guys, humor, interaction, sarcasm, screw, social, social interaction

Someone from 🇬🇹 has recently bookmarked this quote.

27 shares on Pinterest this month.
If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

0

2 months ago

affection, both, bring, crows, gift, humor, ID, love, relationship, shiny, shiny thing, thing, things

Someone from 🇳🇪 has recently copied this quote.

77 shares on Reddit this month.

All funny crows quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

22 shares on X this month:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

13 shares on YouTube this month:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

42 shares on Slack this month:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,353

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Trending via WeChat:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Making waves on WeChat:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Trending via Snapchat:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Just shared via YouTube:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Just landed via Threads:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Just shared via Facebook:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Going viral on Discord:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

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