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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,576

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Seen just now on X:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Going viral on X:

He took my last fry, your honor.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Making waves on Slack:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Going viral on Snapchat:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Funny dark comedy quotes

Funny dark comedy quotes 🖤😈 blend twisted humor with a cheeky wink, turning the darkest moments into laugh-out-loud gems 💀😂. Perfect for those who love a little edge with their chuckles, these quotes walk the fine line between spooky and silly 🎭✨. Ready to embrace the hilariously grim side of life? Dive in and let the wickedly witty vibes brighten your day! 🌑🤣

New funny dark comedy quotes 👇

All funny dark comedy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Instagram this month:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

49 shares on X this month:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

98 shares on X this month:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

54 shares on Discord this month:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

22 folks are currently checking 👀

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy, I’m just highly selective about what I suffer for.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,423

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Live now on TikTok:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Just shared via TikTok:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Spotted on Reddit:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Breaking via Facebook:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Spotted on WeChat:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Trending via YouTube:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

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