Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

You wish you had this many chins.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

3,947

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Seen just now on Discord:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Making waves on Instagram:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Breaking via X:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Home » Funny Dark Comedy Quotes

Funny dark comedy quotes

Funny dark comedy quotes 🖤😈 blend twisted humor with a cheeky wink, turning the darkest moments into laugh-out-loud gems 💀😂. Perfect for those who love a little edge with their chuckles, these quotes walk the fine line between spooky and silly 🎭✨. Ready to embrace the hilariously grim side of life? Dive in and let the wickedly witty vibes brighten your day! 🌑🤣

New funny dark comedy quotes 👇

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

0

2 months ago

comedy, dark, dark comedy, enough, foodie, hannibal, Hannibal Lecter, humor, killer, lecter, scary, serial, serial killer
Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

0

2 months ago

being, big, career, comedian, comedy, comedy career, dark, dark comedy, entertainment, failure, hit, humor, killer, much, Netflix, own, podcast, popping, serial, serial killer, special, spend, success
Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

0

2 months ago

abyss, comedy, contact, customer, customer service, dark, dark comedy, existential, humor, important, scream, service, thank, thank you

All funny dark comedy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Messenger this month:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

92 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

40 shares on X this month:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,871

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Avocado is just green butter.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Shared recently on X:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Breaking via Twitch:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Just shared via Facebook:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Just landed via X:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Trending via WhatsApp:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴